February 17, 2001
Greetings Accumulators!
Let's see...Tom and Nicole broke up, Puffy and J-Lo did too. Great. Now for
the news we're actually interested in.
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF FASCINATING BARWARE
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In honor of Valentine's Day, The London Museum has placed a recent
discovery from a city cess-pit on display, according to Reuters. The
Museum, which has a rather primitive concept of romance,is proudly
exhibiting a 300-year-old drinking cup shaped like a penis. They describe
it as an "unusual receptacle". No doubt. The cup, estimated to be 300 years
old, is approximately six-and-a-half inches long (sure it is!), hollow, and
made from a tin-glazed pottery. The museum says it is "rendered with
anatomical precision". I suppose they know this because the entire male
portion of the Acquisitions Department ran into the men's room to check.
Or, perhaps they were working from memory. The museum stated that "a small
cup above the testicles suggests that the vessel was used to contain
liquid, possibly wine, beer or ale". Certainly not champagne! The female
archeologist who discovered the drinking penis said she experienced "a bit
of a shock" when she found the object, before bursting into laughter when
she realized what it was. This, of course, is exactly the same reaction all
women have. Eventually, the cup (how do they know it isn't a spittoon?)
will become part of an exhibit of 18th century pornographic tiles. Can't
wait for the Queen to do the ribbon-cutting ceremony. Can you imagine the
toast at the banquet afterwards?
IF THE COWS ARE BACK, CAN SPRING BE FAR BEHIND? DEPARTMENT
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We are all, by now, quite accustomed to herds of strange-looking cows
standing in the streets of cities all over the world. I speak, of course,
about the various artist-decorated fiberglass cows created on behalf of the
fundraising efforts of various municipalities, who auction them off to art
patrons and milk drinkers alike. Accumulator Lou Johnson informs me that
the city of Plainview, Texas has added a new twist that will increase their
revenues and undoubtedly result in imitiation everywhere: advertising.
That's right, the current exhibit of cows in Plainview includes a healthy
dose of product placement, sponsored by the companies receiving the bovine
benefits. Thus we see cows representing the interests of fuel companies,
car washes, and ice cream stores. There is also a bikini-clad cow, which is
very bizarre, considering what we know about cow anatomy. Lou was kind
enough to include some snapshots. Just click on the links to see some of
them, or copy and paste them into your browser. Thanks, Lou!
HELPFUL HINTS
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As I'm sure you all know by now, the book about which you have been
relentlessly hounding me is coming out this year. The end of August,
actually. This is a good time, I think, to being teasing you with some of
the stuff in there. I won't even mention the essays. Suffice it to say that
a good chunk of my family will probably not ever speak to me again once
it's published. So, I'll just give you one of the countless tips and tricks
that make up the bulk of the volume: If you want to get rid of that musty
smell in a cabinet or closet, put half a cut onion in there, close the
doors or drawers, and leave it for a few days.
Well, dear Accumulators - off to - whatever. I've no idea what He Who Is
The Light Of My Life has planned for us today. We would have gone up to the
country house, but we've been frightened off by the predictions of extreme
frigidity by our friendly weather man. I suppose this would be a great time
to work on all those WhatICollect.com sites I've just started up. If you
live in a climate where outdoor shows and sales are possible today, get out
there and enjoy! If not, there are plenty of indoor shops and auctions to
attend. Have a glorious week, Accumulators. Happy hunting!
Best,
Judith
© 2001 Judith Katz-Schwartz. All rights reserved.
Antiques and Collectibles Newsletter #141
U.S. Library of Congress
ISSN 1520-4464
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