April 19, 2002
Get the Calvados-flavored whipped cream, Ma, this Apple is baked! Today they're predicting cooler weather here - it'll only be in the mid 80s. I suppose it's not that strange to have August weather in April. Two weeks ago we had February weather in April. So, I thought I'd better type to you early in the day, while it's still cool, quiet and serene here.
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF WHAT WILL THEY PLAY WITH WHEN THEY'RE EIGHTEEN?
Tamatha Brannon of Atlanta, Georgia was apparently shocked when her 11-year-old son suddenly said, "What does 'horny' mean?". This was probably because they happened to be standing in a Toys-R-Us store at the time, and her son, Marvin was holding a talking Austin Powers doll. The doll had just asked Marvin, "Do I make you horny, Baby, do I?" So, before he could answer the doll, Marvin had to find out what exactly the doll wanted to know. Well, his Mom was so offended that she promptly bought two of the dolls and took one to the police station, gave it to the police, and filed an obscenity complaint agains Toys-R-Us. I know that some of you are saying right now, "That is outrageous that a child should be getting his sex education from a doll in a toy store!". And some of you are saying, "Hey, come onnnnnnn...the kid is eleven. Don't tell me he never heard that word before. Where did he grow up - in a hyperbaric chamber?" But, the rest of us are saying, "What eleven-year-old kid has any interest whatsoever in shopping at Toys-R-Us?"
Other questions milling about in the brain are, "What did you do with the other doll, Tamatha? Tamatha's not talking, but I'm guessing it won't be under the tree next Christmas and it's not going up into the attic in case the market in suggestive trash-talking dolls skyrockets. "What are the police going to do about this?" So far, nothing. Not even a comment. Probably too busy playing with the doll. Also, "What is Toys-R-Us going to do about this?" Well, according to Reuters, they also stock a "parental guidance" version that says, "Would you fancy a shag?". Oh, much better. I would feel ever so much more comfortable explaining to my child the meaning of "shag" than the meaning of "horny".
FUN COLLECTION DEPARTMENT
To all you Accumulators in New Zealand: Wow! You are a fun-loving bunch! And you definitely know how to display a collection. John Lee, a farmer in Wanaka displays his collection on his fence. It's a collection of bras of course, helpfully left there by female passersby. Isn't that nice? Lee, 66, says girls give him their bras all the time, and he's particularly thrilled when carloads of young women show up, strip off their tops, and hang their bras on the fence, before driving off again. "This is fascinating", you may be saying. Or maybe not. "But where's the news in this?" Well, for three consecutive nights, "thick-headed thieves", as Lee calls them, lifted all the bras off the fence, completely wiping out the collection and destroying the fence's wind-shielding abilities. But, don't cry for John Lee. The fence has already been thoughtfully refilled with 165 bras, and the upcoming ski season promises to produce many more female tourists arriving to make deposits. What an uplifting story!
INDISPENSABLE WEB SITES FOR ALL BUYERS, SELLERS AND COLLECTORS
You must take yourself over to the AuctionBytes web site. In addition to great articles on how to repair collectibles, and current online auction statistics, there is now a palce at the site for you to post ads of the buying and selling variety - and they're currently free! You can even post photos - sort of like having a mini-web site. You may also want to visit a group of sites called WHATICOLLECT.COM. These are sites listed by collecting interest, and hosted by collectors. You may read news, see what's for sale, and post your own for-sale or wanted-to-buy items, or a link to your own web-site - and it's all absolutely free. Can't beat free advertising! I host some of these WIC sites myself. You'll find me at the Disneyana, Jewelry, Paper, World's Fair and other sites. For AuctionBytes, go to LINK. For the WHATICOLLECT sites, go to LINK.
So, Accumulators, the temperature approaches 80 degrees, and I still have much work to do for a course I'm teaching in Washington, DC next week. Tomorrow it's up to the country where it's ten degrees cooler, and the bulbs are still poking their heads up through the ground. Yard and garage sales are beginning to sprout as well, so there'll be some hunting and gathering in there too. Have a great week, Accumulators. Happy hunting!
© 2002 Judith Katz-Schwartz. All rights reserved.
Antiques and Collectibles Newsletter #178
U.S. Library of Congress
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