October 25, 2002
Before I forget, let me inform you all that I'll be appearing on The Montel Williams Show on Friday, November 1st. Now, please don't write and ask me what time it's on in your town. It's a syndicated show, so you have to check your local listings for time and station. Here in New York City it will air at 1PM on Fox 5. It is a daytime show, so you may have to set your VCR to see it. It's also the first day of sweeps month, so the ratings are very important. If they haven't edited out all the kidding around we did, it'll be a very funny show. Montel is a really, really nice person, and he's quite mischievous and funny too.
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF I DON'T TRUST THOSE INTERPRETERS AT THE U.N. EITHER!
Wow, whoever write the subtitles for Discovery Channel Europe's documentary about the life of frogs and tadpoles must have been mighty proud of their work. Because they used the same subtitles for six other films, including one about Egyptian mummies, one about World War II and one on submarines. The folks in Romania who were watching The Discovery Channel were starting to get a little bored by the third movie, so they all phoned up their local TV stations and complained. The Discvoery Channel has thus far made no comment. Probably waiting for that new replacement Romanian subtitle writer they just hired to arrive.
ENTIRELY TOO SILLY SOUVENIRS DEPARTMENT
Blackpool, England is a seaside resort that features, as all seaside resorts do, souvenirs and candy for purchase by tourists. What sets Blackpool apart from, let's say, American seaside resorts, is that around here you can't stroll out onto the boardwalk and buy a large penis made of candy. A local politician, Councillor Mary Smith (if that IS her real name, eh?) wants all obscene confectionary removed from shops in Blackpool. She wants them to follow the lead of Southport, where police launched a crack down on the rock candy willies. They ordered the shop owners to remove the candy canoodlers from public view. According to the Blackpool Evening Gazette, the manager of one Southport shop said, "Two male officers came in here and ordered me to take all the rock willies out of the window. They said the rock boobs could stay because they hadn't received any complaints about them." Oh dear. It must be like one giant fraternity party over there. Can we at least ask you to market a rock bra or maybe some rock pasties?
FOR THOSE WHO COLLECT ANYTHING, AND I MEAN ANYTHIHG, ELVIS
If everything Elvis makes your heart flutter, take yourself to mastronet.com where, beginning October 28th, you can bid on a jar full of Elvis' hair clippings, hoarded by his personal hair stylist, Homer "Gill" Gilleland. This is not a single lock of Elvis' hair, but a big hunka hunka burning whatever. More interesting than the hair itself is the lengthy provenance provided with the lot. It seems that Elvis was very good to Gill, having given him umpteen photos, costumes, concert tickets, plane tickets, a fancy car and a house. And all the time, Homey was sweeping up those clippings off the barbershop floor.... Oh, and bidding begins at $10,000.
Silliest Halloween Costume site: If you need a Halloween costume for your dog (and who doesn't?), go to dog mcuk, a British site featuring canine couture. They have just posted their Halloween line, so if you plan on dressing Mopsy as the devil or a pumpkin, order now. The site promises to "scare the dog poo out of your fellow hounds." LINK.
TODAY'S HELPFUL HINT
Want to keep that neck chain from getting all tangled up in the jewelry box? Get a drinking straw, drop the chain down through the straw, bend the straw around and close the necklace. No more tangles!
So, Accumulators, it's off to make dinner. Tomorrow we are attending the Bat Mitzvah of the lovely Ariel Rose Kelner, who has grown up so fast, we can't believe it. It's a little chilly out there for prowling garage sales (especially since no one in the Northeast is still having them), so this is a good weekend to visit an antiques shop or mall in your area. Don't forget to catch Montel next Friday. Have a great week, Accumulators. Happy hunting!
© 2002 Judith Katz-Schwartz. All rights reserved.
Antiques and Collectibles Newsletter #195
U.S. Library of Congress
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