April 20, 2003
Greetings Accumulators!
Holiday greetings to all - hope you've been
enjoying fine spring weather and happy times with loved ones. We have been
in a frenzy of activity up at the country house - building, cleaning,
primping - I'm sure you can relate.
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF THERE IS AN AMUSING ASPECT TO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING
During the three long weeks of battles and bloodshed in Iraq, Artie and I
were glued to CNN first thing every morning, the way I suppose many others
were. You would not think it cold be possible to find a source of amusement
in all this, but - heck! You know whom I mean. That jolly Iraqi Minister of
Information, Mohammed Saeed Al Sahhaf! Every day we'd watch the live video
of coalition forces invading wherever, followed by a live interview wherein
he insisted we were not there. Who can forget, "our initial assessment is
that they will all die", or the inimitable "they're not even within 100
miles of Baghdad"? All this hilarious denial, coupled with his strong
resemblance to a borscht belt comic, prompted HWITLOML and me to nickname
him Shecky Al Sahhaf. One day Shecky just didn't show up for work, and
we've missed him ever since. Now, a Connecticut company called
Herobuilders.com is offering an action figure of "The Iraqi Dis-information
Minister" that says things like, "there are no American infidels in
Baghdad." The $36 doll makes several bizarre statements in Shecky's own
voice, via digitized snippets from his actual news conferences. No word on
whether he'll be doing the Catskills circuit this summer.
HOW ABOUT GETTING A CLUE? DEPARTMENT
It seems that $500,000 in rare books and prints were stolen the Roslyn
Landmark Society on Long Island. It just took a long time for anyone to
notice. Recording Secretary Mary Ann Brandl first observed last Friday
that, "Gee, the shelves are missing a lot of books." And then, according to
Sgt. Garry Walsh of the Nassau County 6th Precinct detective squad, "she
noticed that some etchings were not on the walls." The society, which runs
tours of the village, used the building, the George Allen Tenant Home on
Main Street, for storage and office space. It was not open to the public.
Detectives found no signs of forced entry. There was a slightly open
window, but no fingerprints. Roslyn Deputy Mayor Nolan Myerson said, "I'm
amazed to hear of this. I would have thought these artifacts were only
valuable to those of us who live in the village." Deputy Mayor, with all
due respect, I feel I must say this to you: DUH! Those of us with
functioning cerebral lobes have managed somehow to put two and two
together, and the answer is not "five". No forced entry, no fingerprints.
Have you, in your travels outside your driveway, come across the concept of
"inside job"? Apparently not.
AND IT ALSO APPEARS THAT ALMOST ANY FUN THING CAN HAVE A DISTINCTLY
UNAMUSING ASPECT AS WELL
Owners of a miniature village In England say they have been forced to delay
opening their exhibit because their insurance company will not cover them,
citing a heightened threat from terrorism. Model Railway Village in
Southport, a 1.5 acre miniature landscape will not open for children and
their families because of the terrorist risk, according to the owner, Ray
Jones. Jones and his wife, Jean, have managed the ourdoor attraction since
1996. "Anybody with any common sense can see that insurance premiums will
rise from people falling over and claiming against the business but
terrorism in this village is zero - unless it's a 1:18 scale terrorist." he
said. They were set to open for the season on April 12, but their longtime
insurer recently told them their site is uninsurable because of the high
risk factor. After finding a new insurance company, the village expects to
open. That will make all the garden gnomes in the neighborhood very happy.
Okay, off we go. He Who Is The Light Of My Life is on vacation this week,
so I can't keep him cooped up all day. We're off to run some errands. Have
a wonderful week, Accumulators. Happy hunting!
Best,
Judith
Best,
Judith
© 2003 Judith Katz-Schwartz. All rights reserved.
Antiques and Collectibles Newsletter #214
U.S. Library of Congress
ISSN 1520-4464
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