May 21, 2004
ANTIQUES AND COLLECTIBLES NEWSLETTER #244
We are all in need of a few laughs here in New York. The weather's been gray, we've just endured two days of
hearings on emergency responses on 9/11/01, and the photos and videotapes from Abu Ghraib prison just keep
FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF PLEASE REFER TO NEWSLETTER #69
>From The Moscow News comes the announcement that a new museum is about to open in Russia. It will be located in St. Petersburg, and will be devoted to erotica. The founder of the museum is one Igor Knyazkin, the chief of the prostate research center of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences. Yes, yes, I understand. Prostate research. Very erotic. Knyazkin told newspapers that he wanted Russia to be a civilized country with a view on the future and with "correct" views on erotica. So, which is the exhibit that most fills Mr. Knyazkin with pride? Why, it's Rasputin's actual penis. Of course. Very erotic, those dead men's penises. He said, “Having this exhibit, we can stop envying America, where Napoleon Bonaparte’s penis is now kept. … Napoleon’s penis is but a small ”pod“ it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimeters…”
How does one even react to such a controversial statement? To think that the Russians have been envying America all these years because we have Napolean's penis. So, that's the reason. Napolean was a Frenchman with, let's be honest, a teeny tiny Little Napolean, which probably explains a whole lot about Napolean's personality. Now the Russians are putting Rasputin's giant Trouser Trout (I mean, 12 inches is not only impressive, it's a little frightening) on display, so they no longer have to be ashamed? So that's the real reason for The Cold War.
Rasputin was known, of course, as The Mad Monk, which we can all understand.. How could he even get pants that fit? No wonder he was mad! The story goes that he kept the ladies of Nicholas II's court enthralled, and now we know why. At the end of 1916, a bunch of aristocrats decided that Rasputin had become too influential and that he had to be killed to save Russia. Maybe they were really trying to save Russian women. Or maybe they were trying to save themselves from feeling like a bunch of losers every time they ran into him at the men's room urinal. Guess we'll never know. So, they lured him to a prince's palace, gave him poisoned cake and wine, shot him, and threw him in the river. Talk about making sure the guy was really dead. To read Newsletter #69 follow this link: Newsletter # 69
THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME DEPARTMENT
I'm sure by now you get that, while I admire Barbie, I don;t think she has correctly managed her life. After having stuck with Ken all those years, and now taking up with an Australian boogie boarder - grow up, Girl! Anyway, lest you think that, after about 200 careers and more clothes than the Metropolitan Mueum of Art's Costume Insitute, she's just another girl, you may want to know that the Second U.S. Appeals Court has just ruled that Barbie has a one-of-a-kind face. It seems that in 2000, Radio City Entertainment issued a Rockettes 2000 Doll, a doll with certain facial features such as wide eyes, upturned nose, and bow-shaped lips, that duplicated our favorite blonde's. The court ruled that Radio City had "erred in concluding that the defendant could freely copy the central facial features of the Barbie doll without infringing Mattel's copyright." So there.
A LITTLE TIP
Keep your gold chains from getting tangled. Open the necklace, slip one end down through a drinking straw, bend the straw, and close the necklace. It'll stay tangle-free.
Okay, Accumulators, while you're yocking it up, I'm slipping out the door. Artie and I are going to our country house to prepare for the annual basheroo. Have a great weekend. Enjoy the weather. Do some shopping. Happy hunting!
© 2004 Judith Katz-Schwartz. All rights reserved.
Antiques and Collectibles Newsletter #244
U.S. Library of Congress
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